A Hot Minute

Sooooooo, it's been a hot minute since I last blogged.  Truth be told, I needed a break.  Time out.  

To Pause

 Rewind.........

and here I am again.

Refreshed

Invigorated and ready to go!

Again.

To be perfectly honest, it was good for me to step away from everything for a while.  If you need time out.

Take it.  


Life for me in the last year has been a world wind.

Ups

downs

turn-a-rounds

relocation

separation

divorce

and all that goes with it.

Important, life changing stuff.  And so with that being said, I move on.  Happy in the knowledge that I emerged like a butterfly from a cocoon.  Beautifully and wonderfully molded from the intensity of the struggle.

Wiser

Stronger

Determined

But most of all,

Winning!

It's All About Me

I used to think that to focus on oneself was selfish, arrogant.....egotistical.  That to do so was a not so slow march towards narcissism.  Eventually. 

It took a long for me to get here, but  I no longer think this way.

You see, I have a natural affinity to care for others, some may even call it a gift or talent.  Whatever it is, at the very least it is a nurturing spirit.  I want to heal the broken, take away what is hurting, and above all, help in whatever way I can. Sometimes I can, and sometimes unfortunately I cannot....but man do I try!  Somewhere in the middle of this though, I've learned to put my own emotional well being on the back burner.  Sure, I took care of everything else over the years, work, family etc., except this one area.  

Why?  Because I believed to do otherwise would be selfish.

 I was wrong.

Truth is, even a gift can be like a curse if not managed properly.  

Case in point. For as long as I can remember, anyone with a problem seemed to be drawn to me like a moth to a flame.  And when I say anyone, I do mean that.  It is not unusual at all for me to meet a complete stranger and have them pour out their life to me in a grocery line.  No kidding.  The point is, I love to help hurting people and they love me right back.  Unfortunately as with any thing that is wounded, one must exercise caution. The same is true.  Hurt people, hurt people.


Over the past year I have learned a lot about myself.  I know that we are all instinctually what God created us to be.  I know that I will always be a nurturer at heart but there has to be some changes in my life. After all, if I am upset, frustrated and sad, what help am I to anyone else?  For this reason, it is indeed all about me! 

 I choose to focus on being the positive glass half full gal that I am and take time to nurture myself and the things that are dear to me.  Only then will I be able to give anything back....that is worthwhile.  

Cherio!

Things that make you go hmmmmmmmm

A few years ago I was in South Beach Miami hanging out with one of my best friends.   Out of the blue, and a very talented and sought after European Artist approached me and asked me if I would mind being his muse for a painting.  Of course I was very flattered but I wanted to know what that meant exactly.....hopefully nothing that involved me being nude.  Well, as luck would have it, he just wanted to paint a painting based on his perception and overall feelings about me.  He proceeded to talk to me for about two hours and a week later this is what he painted.  He dubbed it Wandalania!  

To be honest, when I first saw the painting I could not get past the nudity!  When asked what I 

thought about it, all I could gasp after a very long ackward pause was ".......uhhhhh..ummm........its cool"  Trust me, it was not cool. Nope, not even a little bit.

 You would think being an Artist myself, I would be used to seeing this by now, but somehow this was different.  This nude figure is his perception of me.  Why am I naked?!!!!!.....did he perceive me as being provocative?.....a diva?..........incomplete or conflicted?  I hate to admit it but I went deep into the cerebrum on this one, I completely over analyzed his art, which by the way sold for thousands to one of his wealthy South Beach clients.  Of course that didn't mean anything to me, so, I filed the picture of the painting away and totally forgot about it until yesterday. (I was sorting through old stuff)

Now that I am looking at this with fresh eyes I see so much more than what I saw at first.  I see my love for animals, water, plants and the earth.  I see myself on a path fully embracing the journey with confidence and swag.   Try as I may though, I dont know what the little figure disappearing into me is....maybe it symbolizes growth, like as I grow, the older weaker me is swallowed by the more stronger better me?  What do you think, any ideas? 

Cherio!