A Tale Of Love And Lessons

I had the kind of relationship that was iron clad.  One that could never fail or falter...... until it did. 

I had been married to the most wonderful man on earth for almost twenty years when my whole world shifted of it's axis.  We had been living long distance for a considerable amount of years when one day we both realized that we were not "as happy" anymore.  We still loved each other madly but over the years he had built his career in one country and I in another. Neither of us wanted to ask the other to give up his or her life work to move and start over, but we both wanted the same thing.  To be together. Again. 

In the main time the separation was taking a major toll on us.  We were both miserable without each other. And so one day, in a confused and frustrated emotional state, we decided to just end it.  

Our relationship had become, too hard, challenging and the separation from each other, a major source of tension. 

There was seemingly no solution to our dilemma.  If I asked him to forfeit everything he had spent his life blood building, surely he will resent me and he felt I would resent him if he asked the same of me.  What a colossal mess!  

And so, for two years, we grieved for what could have been.  We called each other from time to time, and lost ourselves in each other for a few minutes.  It was always the same, like slipping on your favorite pair of jeans. 

Dependable. 

Comfortable.

 Effortless. 

Just Right

 Two years later, we still had not pulled the trigger on getting a divorce. Neither of us had the strength or fortitude to follow through on it, though we knew it was inevitable. To make matters worse, neither of us could date another person.  He was stuck on comparing other women to me and I compared other men to him.  Needless to say, everyone we could potentially date was all wrong for us! No matter how good looking or good they were. Clearly, it wasn't them. It was us.

Eventually, my hubby and I realized that we had made a huge mistake.  It was clear to us now that what we had was rare. Something to cherish and nurture.  All we needed to be happy was each other.  To hell with all else! 

Today we are together.  My husband and I wake up every day next to each other. We are happier than we have ever been.  Over the years we have learned lessons that makes us appreciate what we have.  Ironically, our two year separation has done more for us than the best marriage therapist. 


Here Are A Few Lessons We Learned Along The Way.

Never sweat or nit pick the small stuff

Laugh and enjoy each other every day.  No excuses!

Work and set goals as a couple but never worry or quarrel about money or bills

Be grateful for what you do have

Trust each other completely 

Communicate your feelings! 

R E S P E CT each other. Period.

Never go to sleep angry or upset

Show your love by your actions!  
Give impromptu massages or cook/order each other's favorite dish

Today, while I may not be a guru of love, I have learned enough to make a significant difference in my own relationship.  I will never, ever make the mistake again to think that my career or anything else is more important than my relationship. 
 If given a choice, I choose LOVE!  

CHERIO!

Sorry Seems To Be The hardest Word

I don't know if it has anything to do with age but as I get older, my patience is starting to really dwindle...like wayyyyyyyyy down.  I used to be a really patient person and I still am but only to a point.  Lately I have been really struggling with people who knowingly wrong another but keep it movin and still expect the relationship to remain the same.  Are you kidding?  

Years ago I would have made it my mission to make peace and smooth things over.  I did that even to my own detriment many times.  Not any more though.  You see, I realize that to condone these actions are just teaching the offender that they can get away with this.  Again. And again.  And hey, after a while this gets real old. 

Recently I had an experience in my life that made me think about the value of self respect and knowing when to walk away from a relationship.  Let's just say it was pretty enlightening.  I learned that while self restraint/control is one of the greatest assets one can have, the ability to admit one's wrong and apologise really heals a multitude of sins.  It does.  Unfortunately it does not work if only one person does all the apologizing.  It takes two to tango. Sorry may be the hardest word, but it is worth it's weight in gold in a relationship.  Just sayin.

Cherio!