What's Driving You?

I don't know if growing older has anything to do with this but my whole outlook on certain things in my life has gradually shifted.  When I was in my 20's, all I wanted to do was succeed.  I was so driven and I still am today, but what drives me is what has shifted.  In the past I wanted to silence the haters and make a few people eat some much deserved humble pie.

I wanted to serve it to them personally if you know what I mean.

Over the years though, I have learned that if negative energy/emotions like revenge or hate is what is driving you, then when that energy is expended you will be left without focus or drive.  Thank God in my case, passion for what I do is what keeps me going.   There was a time though when my reasons for wanting to succeed was not 100% passion.

Today as I move forward I can truly say that I am done with that. That period of my life is over. I search my heart and there is no trace of malice or pain against anyone.   And not because I have Not experienced pain, hurt and disappointment.  It is exactly BECAUSE I have had such experiences that I am not bitter.  I choose to do this for me.  To concentrate on anything else is not only distracting but it is giving my power to someone or something else.  I can't have that. When I have to hustle and grind it out, though I do have people that love and support me, ultimately it is my faith in God that truly sustains me.  I have proven over the years that people come and go but God will Never leave me or forsake me....I think I am gonna keep rollin with that...

Cherio!

I Hope You Dance

I've had this song playing non stop in my head since yesterday so I just had to share.  The words are so powerful, heartfelt and true.  This song really ministered to me, I hope it does the same for you.

As you may have read in two of my previous post, the last two weeks has been really stressful and hard for me.  After weeks of insomnia I started having heart palpitations which scared the daylights out of me.  I literally feared for my life.  Today as I write this though, I feel a lot better and I am almost back to my normal sleep pattern.  Yay me!!!!  whew.  Trust me when I say I have a whole new respect for sleep.  It is so vitally important to remain healthy.

This whole experience has made me look at my life and all the areas where I held back or put things off for later.  I AM SO DONE WITH THAT.

Life is precious.  It is the most awesome privilege anyone can have. We get a gift every single day of our lives. It comes to us each day wrapped up in 24 brand new hrs.  And those hours are ours to do whatever we choose.
To dream.  
                To Plan.  
To see that plan come to life. 
             To bring comfort to the hurting
To travel
                 To write
To learn
            To teach
         To love and be loved
To serve selflessly
                                                  To find your path
   To live victoriously...
                       and of course 
        to dance.

Cherio!
          

You've Come A Long Way Baby!

So yesterday was my birthday and it was nothing short of A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!  I had the time of my life and I pretty darn well did whatever I pleased.  And it pleased me to indulge myself. Immensely. Without restraint. A Happy birthday.  To me, by me and for me.

Fast forward to this morning and I am sitting up in bed in a much more reflective mood....asking myself some pretty tough questions....

Questions like:

What did you accomplish this past year?

Could you have done more/better?

What about those goals in your journal...time to tackle those don't you think?

So, what is your plan for the next six months?

Are you living up to your true potential?

When are you going to finish all those incomplete projects you started?

What!!!?????   What is this, the great inquisition?

Truth is, I know exactly what this is.  I do it, you do it. Some of us do it once a year on our birthday and some, at least once a day.  It is that internal check list we keep to make sure that we are on course.

Well, my response to "miss internal dictator director" went a little something like this....

I loved hard.  Fought hard.  Played just as hard or harder.

I challenged myself to grow........to count my blessings even amidst the pain.  To allow others to love me as I am, and to accept people just the way God made them.

I painted, crafted, designed, and honed my skills.  I entered competitions,was featured in galleries and participated in trade shows.  I celebrated, and was celebrated in return. Now I have a loyal following of people who believe in my Artistic ability/talents.  Some of them are very dear friends and some are loyal customers. (giant pat on back)

And then, just when I was feeling great about my life and the progress I was making, I gained 13 pounds in 7 months.......

But fortunately, that is not all I gained.

I gained insight and wisdom about health....my health. I learned how to better take care of my body.  Of myself.

I succeeded....

I lost 15 pounds in 3 months.

Then I failed. 

 I gained 12 pounds of it back......again........ 5 months later.  

.....But I never quit.

I lost every one of those 12 pesky pounds. And this is where I am now.  I learned so much about myself during this time.  I know now that I can do ANYTHING I make up my mind to do with God's help.  Am done with the up and down weight gain. I know now where I struggled and how to prevent myself from struggling in the future.  I am now 80% vegetarian and very happily so.

But wait.  There's more.

And, as if that change wasn't drastic enough, I went from this....



To this.

Then recently I decided to kick it up a notch with my design business.  So I did.  I am saying this only because you never heard me say it yet on this blog...that is until now.  I have a fashion line coming out but honestly sometimes the magnitude of it overwhelms me so much I keep it in the closet. Talking about it sometimes is just too painful.  I just want to do the darn thing!

I have BIG dreams for myself.  They have been coming together slower than I would like but slow progress is still progress non the less, yes?  So here is a small sample of my God inspired line. Hopefully they will be in a store near you real soon.

And Finally, last but not least.  Mi Familia.  The people whom I love most...on most days.  I think this year has really brought us closer.  We have had my dad and grandmother fall critically ill within months of each other and but for God's grace and mercy, they both narrowly escaped death. Both of them.  This put a lot of things into perspective for me.  No more sweating the small stuff. Seriously.

I think this picture sums up the way I feel about it all.  Look real close you will see two little figures walking in the distance.  That is me behind, the one in front is my sister Shan.  We are polar opposites but we have lots in common too.  Unlike me, she is very athletic so I am always one step behind. Literally.

Did you ever know that you're my heroooooooo,.....lol.  Am kidding.  The point is, I appreciate her for her strengths and I think she appreciates me for mine.  We forgive the parts in between, especially in the last year.  We have both grown so much and we are so much better for it.

And so "miss inner director/diva" I got news for ya.  What did I achieve in the last year?

NOTHING BUT GROWTH BABY!!!....and not just the hair.

Cherio!

Just Do it!.....Again

So today I wrote this long post "Just Do It" about being true to yourself, achieving personal goals and persevering through it all....and what happens?  There was a hiccup on blogger and ALL of my post was deleted.  Honestly I didn't know whether to laugh or cry so I might have done a little of both.  Man was I frustrated and hoppin mad.  But then it occurred to me, isn't that what the previous post was all about?  To not give up..... to get it done against all odds.  Hmmmmmmm, someone needs to follow their own advice and man up!  And so I did with this post.

We are often told "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade" but I today I kinda wanted to squeeze those lemons in life's eye. If only for a little while.  I had to remind myself that this was not a big deal.  That, while thoroughly irritating, in the grand scheme of things a blog post deletion is pretty minor.  The way I respond to it  however is much more important.  I could choose to be in a foul mood and throw the towel in or I could exercise some true grit and JUST DO IT! Again.

yourcroatia

And so today by the most ironic twist of fate, I was reminded again of a most valuable lesson I learned a long time ago.  Learn from your mistakes and celebrate your successes but
Keep.  Moving.  Forward. 

Cherio!